You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
