remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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