Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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