i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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