i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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