i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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