Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize