Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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