so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
