We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
