Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
kristin has been a bad kristin
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
