i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
