we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
