Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
