I CAN MOONWALK!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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