I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
