i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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