Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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