It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
