i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
