i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
