you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
