Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think your dad took our porno
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
