We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
