Grow some girl-balls and come out already
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
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MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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