u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
