Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize