dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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