oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
