I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
