We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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