I bet he comes in French.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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