you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
