I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
