pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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