I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
