why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize