If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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