about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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