Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
