Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
