so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.