Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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