I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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