I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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