Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
