Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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