she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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