so that wasnt chicken after all
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
