I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
