Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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