You smell like stripper and shame
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Randomize
