I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
