Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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