I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
