If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
