Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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