Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
