i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
