Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
