I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Pants are for mortals
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
