my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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