DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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